1 Month Old

Another week . . . gone.

It's been obvious she's definitely gone through some changes in the last week or so. For one thing, she's undoubtedly figured out crying gets her things. In most cases she starts with a few squeaks and grunts, that ultimately turn into cries . . . and if it's taking too long, those cries become screams!

In the beginning, Ross fed for roughly 30 minutes at a time. Me, being a first timer, figured this was standard: Feedings take 30 minutes. And, after discovering she'd been gaining weight, it was confirmed. Last week, however, her feedings changed from 30 minutes to 20 minutes. In a state of panic . . . wondering why in the world had she dropped 10 minutes of feeding time, I called my sister daily. She reassured me that she must be getting better at eating and has simply become more efficient. This week she's dropped again, only eating for 10 minutes at a time. In fact, screaming at me for trying to push the feeding any longer. After a bit of a breakdown (from both of us), I called my sister yet again for reassurance.

My fear, of course, is that she's "snacking" and will want to start feeding every hour . . . which is most definitely not an option. Or, that something could be wrong with my milk, which would mean breastfeeding would come to an end.

She still seems to stick with the 3 hour schedule, and I guess that would justify her not "snacking." However, I don't know that my milk hadn't suddenly changed . . . this, unfortunately, is a constant fear. I guess that's just the thing . . . I love the fact that I can breastfeed her, but am constantly worried about how much she's getting or what foods I'm eating.

With all that being said, you see why I have to stop and remind myself to calm down a bit more often these days.

Though, after seeing how far she's come in just one month, I see even more clearly how most of my worrying is completely pointless.

I know it will all work itself out . . . eventually.

So, I'm gonna push on through, and try my best to make a permanent mental image of who she is today . . . before she changes tomorrow.